Archive for the ‘Crazies’ Category

Quote of the Day: harASSment!

2009 February 20

“Don’t let yourself get a fat ass, just because you’re sitting down all day long.  That’s what happens to us.  You have to do sit-ups or some shit.”

– the drunk, offensively boorish crazy on the College Streetcar this afternoon, addressing the trainee driver.  The trainee was very gracious and polite . . . and was doing a great job, by the way.

Advertisements

TO’s Sexy Secrets

2009 February 13

This week’s NOW Toronto is entitled The Love and Sex Issue

Within it, you can read the answers to a bunch of polls and stuff; however, the most fascinating/disturbing part is called Share A Sexy Secret of Yours That Would Surprise or Shock Others.

Here’s what all you Torontonians crazies had to say:

  • I’m turned on by hockey jerseys.
  • I fooled around with my mom’s co-worker and her husband.
  • I fantasize about being fucked by an elephant.
  • I get most turned on when my partner does things to me while I pretend to be asleep.
  • I love masturbating with my window open when it’s raining.
  • I used to plug myself with Barbie dolls. Think about it!
  • My wife and I sometimes pretend we are siblings.
  • Seeing as most of my friends don’t know I’m a lesbian, that would probably be it.
  • When we were young, my neighbour and I used to let her dog lick our pussies.
  • Drinking blood is hot.
  • For casual encounters I need to be wearing a bubblegum-pink bob wig.
  • Fucked almost the whole football team in college.
  • Getting fingered in a mosh pit.
  • Although I was raped, rape fantasies still get me off.
  • I had an affair when I was 15 with my best friend’s mother.
  • I like toes in my vag.
  • I love being filmed or photographed while having sex, masturbating, etc.
  • I lost a small vibrator in my bum once.
  • I’ve only had sex with two people. The second person doesn’t know that.
  • My boyfriend of almost two years has still never really seen me completely naked.
  • My hubby gets the best boner when I wear a straitjacket for sex.
  • I have done sexual things with men I am not physically attracted to just so I could explore various kinks.
  • I once let my boyfriend throw a pie in my face as foreplay.
  • I have a fantasy of watching my parents fuck.
  • I learned how to kiss from my sister.
  • I still have sex with my sister.
  • I used to have sex regularly with farm animals.
  • I’ve paid to get trampled and ass-fucked by a dominatrix. It was hot.
  • Received oral in a gay bar dark room in Amsterdam, while my wife stood at my side.
  • I once masturbated with a cherry inside my pussy, then ate it after I came – yum.
  • Bestiality turns me on.

Just for fun, I thought I’d post the amazing music video of the 1992 song called L.S.I. (Love, Sex, Intelligence) by The Shamen.  Some of you may remember this from the MuchMusic disc Dance Mix ’94.

Quote of the Day!

2009 January 30

From AOL Travel . . .
—————————————————————————————————–
5.TORONTO

I AM A U.S. BORN AND RAISED CITIZEN. ALL MY LIFE , NOW 53yrs.I HAVE NEVER SAT IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM. WHEN WE WERE IN TORONTO EVERYTHING IS VERY CLEAN AND FRESH AND IT IS THE ONLY PLACE I SAT IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM. EVERYONE THERE WAS WONDERFUL AND VERY HELPFUL.
Date of Trip to Toronto,Canada: March,2003
Purpose of your trip: Personal
—————————————————————————————————–
I don’t know if I’d go that far about the cleanliness of the city, but this is pretty funny.

Guns Suck

2009 January 22

I was riding my bike around downtown this morning and noticed a helicopter hovering above the city centre.  Later, when I got home and was browsing the internet to see what might have happened, I discovered that there had been a shooting, around quarter to eleven, on the Osgoode station subway platform!  A 19-year-old guy was shot in the leg and abdomen (the wounds are not life-threatening) after an apparent altercation with another young man.  The suspect is described as a black man with light complextion, wearing a black parka with fur trim and a Blue Jays baseball cap.  If you have any information about this incident, call 911.

VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER TO ONE’S PROBLEMS.

Quote of the Day!

2008 November 29

“In this weather, all I can think of is Maaaaui.”

– the extemely “friendly” crazy lady next to me on the Lawrence Avenue East bus yesterday, on my venture to Scarborough.  You can always count on a crazy or two to colour up your day around the GTA.

Jesus Loves You, Call 416-929-1500

2008 May 13

That was the hand-written message on the bottom of the “gospel tract” [the printed page material that is needed for God’s people all around the world to fulfill His command] that I found on the streetcar. That’s not really the funny part. The funny part is that this particular tract is called The Blood and the front features a picture of a severed hand with a river of blood draining out of the wrist.

The Fellowship Tract League (a ministry of the Fellowship Baptist Church) has a website; unfortunately, the electronic version of The Blood is a lot more boring than the physical copy. So I thought I’d post some of the more interesting ones . . .

Hose It Down

2008 May 3

It’s that time of the year again.  Pretty much everyday for the last 2 weeks I’ve seen at least one of my neighbours hosing down the sidewalk.  People around here LOVE hosing down the sidewalk.  Why?  I think because it wastes both time and water.  Today, it was especially notable because this woman was actually hosing down the cement in the rain.

Beam Me Up the DVP, Scottie

2008 March 27

Last weekend I was on my way north on the Don Valley Parkway, when I spotted perhaps the funniest personalized license plate I’ve ever – EVER – seen:

g-038.jpgg-039.jpg

The plate says VOYAJR!!  And not only was it accompanied by a legitimate Star Trek symbol (who knew you could even get one of those on your licence plate?), but it was on a PLYMOUTH VOYAGER!

BTW, for all you Trekkies out there, here’s the teaser trailer for J. J. Abrams’ new Star Trek movie.

The Cashman Dance

2008 March 6

This is perhaps the best commerial of all time.

I’ve been watching advertisements made by this pawnbroker crazy since I was a kid. I’ve never actually been to Oliver Jewellery, but now that I live in Toronto I may just stop by and see if I can get some CA$H!  The weirdest thing on the website is the fact that Russel Oliver will buy your gold teeth . . . .

Quote of the Day!

2007 October 11

Man (alone, reading newspaper, and speaking to me and the woman next to me out of the blue): “Even the damn Bikers are suing these days, when they get shot.”
Woman: “It’s a free country.”